Blind.. But Still A Busy Mom….Meal Tips

Hello Everyone,

I know all of us moms are in the same boat…it is busy! I have 3 kids ages 12, 13, and 16. Three teenagers is hard, and working full time and having to do all of the mom things is hard. Many people think that being blind added to that list would make things harder and to be honest. It is my normal so it really doesn’t affect our life too much. I do things differently and need to be more organized maybe and sometimes things take longer but at the end of the day I am just mom.

One of the times of the day that is the hardest is the witching hour, that is the time between when I get home and when we eat supper. I don’t mind cooking, in fact we eat at home almost every single night. It is not very often that we go out to eat or order food in. The one thing I dislike though is deciding what to cook. I am sure I am not alone in this one.

One of the things that has been working for us for some time now is meal planning. I have been sitting down on the weekend and going through what is in my freezer and pantry and deciding what we will be eating for the next seven or so days. I always ask for suggestions from the peanut gallery so that when they say “this sucks, I don’t like x, y, or z” I can happily say, “well when I am asking for suggestions you can tell me what you would like”. They never do!

Once I have the meal plan all made out, I then go to the store with my husband in tow. Well maybe he has me in tow. Armed with a list, thanks to Alexa. And we get the things that we need for those meals for the week. This way we have saved a ton on groceries, and are definitely not wasting as much food. I take that list and I have and put on a white board on the fridge, so everyone knows what is for supper. It has really helped my sanity because before that; I would be cooking and every kid would come down to the kitchen and ask “what is for dinner?” And when I answered inevitability they would say “uggggghhhhhh I don’t want that” now there is no surprise. Check the board, that is what we are having like it or not. If you don’t like it, give a suggestion.

During the week I take out 2-3 days worth of meat and put it in the fridge. This helps because when I come home there is no need for me to wonder what is for dinner, I already know and I can just go to the fridge and get it started. I am a much happier mom and human being when there is less complaining, and I am not always trying to decide what is for dinner when I am tired and sometimes just ready for the day to be over.

With this method like I said earlier, we have saved a ton on groceries. But there is also less waste and things are always getting used up because we don’t just walk around the store and buy random things. Feel and shop is what my husband calls it. This is when you take your blind wife to the store and she touches everything and says “what is this”. Feel and shop ends with lots of things in the cart, that sounded good to said blind wife. It also has helped us to eat healthier, because if I am deciding at 5pm what we are having for dinner, it is going to be something quick and probably convenience type things. But with this method we are eating more balanced meals because it is planned and prepped and ready to just be cooked.

Hope this helps some of the other moms out there, and if you have not tried this, you should! Let me know how you keep the sanity around meal time and what works for your family.

Until Next Time!

Ashley and Danson

Travelling Alone When You Are Blind

Hello Everyone,

For my work I tend to travel fairly often. I don’t mind travelling, my husband hates to travel so this is a way that I can do that and not have to worry that he hates travelling.

I also do some travel where I am alone and there is no one else with me. I do not travel with a sighted guide. I have had a lot of questions about how I am able to do this. I am going to tell you how I am able to travel alone as a blind woman and be successful.

I want to start this by saying that it is not easy. There are many times when things do not go great, I get lost, I feel insecure, I have anxiety all of the things. But, I work through those things because working through those feelings and moving forward to accomplish what I want makes me stronger. It is what helps me to grow as a person and what has helped me to be as confident in myself as I am. When you are able to work through the tough stuff it builds your confidence faster than anything else.

Some of the ways that I am able to travel alone is that I plan, plan, plan. I make sure that when I am picking flights, I choose the ones that make the most sense if at all possible. For example I try not to choose flights that have a layover more than 2 hours. This is because air ports can be hard to navigate, they are busy and food and washrooms are not always close to the gate you end up at. Also because I have a guide dog I want to be sure that I don’t have to go through security to take him to go to the bathroom and then go back through security to the gate, it is just a lot of extra stress that I don’t need.

I use a combination of apps that allow me to be as independent as possible, some of my favourites are Blind Square, Seeing AI, Aira, Be My Eyes. I also use a Victor Trek to be able to have many options for GPS and other tools to help me navigate. I like the Victor Trek because it does not rely on data. I use a lot of data when travelling. The other thing I do is call a friend or my husband using face time if I am needing to confirm something. For example I found my way to a mall but wasn’t quite sure if I was right because I had to reroute due to a lack of side walks in some places so I wanted to confirm I was at the right place, so I face timed a good friend and she was able to look around and tell me yes I had in fact made it to the mall.

Another thing that I have to do to travel alone successfully is be ok asking for help and asking questions. I have to stop random people on sidewalks, in air ports, in hotels, and ask for directions or help finding the places that I am looking to go. This was something that I struggled with when I was younger, I felt like if I asked for help, I was admitting that I couldn’t do it on my own. But I soon figured out that if I wanted to live the life that I wanted to I would have to ask for help to be as independent as possible.

There are times when by the end of a day I am exhausted, it is a lot of work to travel alone, I can be mentally done some days when I get to the hotel. But in the end it is worth it all because that is the life that I want to live. And at the end of the day we all want to live a life that we choose, we don’t want to sit back and accept less because it is hard or because we feel like a disability doesn’t allow us too.

Check out the last video I posted about finding some coffee on my latest trip at https://youtu.be/6QROP-MOFF4

Until Next Time !

Ashley and Danson

Taking A Step Back

Hello Everyone,

I have been a little more quiet than normal on social media these days and even here on my blog. It was intentional in some ways, it was also unintentional in others because life is busy as we all know.

After accidentally neglecting my blog and social media for a couple of weeks I started to feel bad and have this guilt for not sharing, not looking at the stats, not chasing the dream. But in reality what was I chasing? Who was making me do it? Why are those stats so important?

I started this blog out of my frustration with the lack of education people had around blindness and how I could function as a blind mom and woman. It turned out I really enjoyed writing my blog so I continued to do it. I have always loved writing and sharing my story with everyone has been fabulous. Somewhere along the way I got lost in the stats and striving to make my blog and other social media stuff more successful and sustainable. But in getting lost in that side of it, what I loved doing turned into feeling like something I had to do. I wasn’t enjoying it in the same way I was.

Now that I have stepped away from things for a little while I am feeling like, I can come back. I am coming back not with the goal of being a blogger or a YouTuber or some social media super star, that is way too much pressure and not what my end goal is. And plus people online are nasty, online platforms give people this thought that they can say whatever they want and treat people like garbage, and I just don’t have the patience or the need for that crap in my life.

So why am I telling you this, you may be asking. Fair question! I don’t know! I wanted to share that I am not gone I am going to continue to share my life and the challenges and triumphs that come along, because that is why I started this, to share my story and hope it helps even just one person.

I think so many of us can get lost in the social media suck hole, and it is really a ugly place to be. Thank you all for being such wonderful readers and not being those nasty people online that make you feel like garbage. You are all amazing human beings and I am so grateful for that.

Until Next Time !

Ashley and Danson

Blind Parents Advocate To Be Involved In Their Childs Education

Hello Everyone,

It is that time of year again when the kids have headed back to school. Back to routines, homework and lunches; this is a time of year that I enjoy because fall is my favourite season of the year but also because I like the routine and normalcy that back to school brings with it.

When you have a child with a disability there is so much advocating that needs to happen in order to get them an equal education to their peers. To many peoples surprise as a parent with a disability I have to advocate just to participate in my children’s education.

Technology is great, gone are the days that I have to send a sandwich baggie with $5 for a field trip or hot dog sale. But the apps and websites that many schools use to give parents the information about their kids days, grades, and activities are not accessible to me.

Now when I want to know what is on the calendar for the upcoming month or know what the kids have going on in the classroom, check in on their marks, or pay for that hot dog sale I need to use different apps and websites and many of them I can not access. I have not been able to access a monthly calendar for the last 3 school years.

Every year I need to let the teachers and school know that I am blind and would really appreciate communication to come in email form. Would the teacher also send me the upcoming events and activities in an email. And because teachers are over worked, under paid, and so many more things; this is just not a priority for them.

This is not something that I expect to change with the teachers, these are the things that I need to advocate to the school boards and decision makers on what apps and websites that are going to be used. It should be a requirement for them to be accessible. Same goes for the websites of schools. Putting up a PDF calendar in a link that is buried 25 links deep in a web page is frustrating. Once you find that calendar and find out that you actually can’t access that calendar is even more frustrating.

As a parent I want to be a part of my child’s education, I want to be able to support the teacher and my child to have the best school year possible. If I am kept out of the circle of communication then that is just not as easy for me.

There are many parents who have disabilities and still want to be able to volunteer in their children’s classrooms and activities and they are more than capable of doing that as well, but unfortunately they are kept at an arms length because the school is not sure how they would be able to help or how they would be able to keep the children safe. These are outdated stigmas that we need to change and when we talk about education and what that looks like for our children we need to think about how parents with all abilities are able to participate in the same way as other parents. And that they have access to simple things like a school calendar.

I am hopeful that in the next 5 years before my youngest graduates my advocacy in this area will pay off and we will see a shift in how accessible it is to be a part of our children’s education.

Until Next Time !

Ashley and Danson

Let’s Go For Dinner….. Dinning out as a person who is blind.

Hello Everyone,

I have always had a love hate relationship with going out to eat, even from a young age. As someone who is totally blind today the experience can be good and bad especially because of being a guide dog handler.

Since I was born legally blind and have always had really bad vision, and no not like how you have bad vision when you take your glasses off. I had always had some anxiety when eating out. If we were going somewhere like a fast food place that had the menu behind the counter, there was no way that I could ever read those. They are horribly back lit, the print had horrible contrast it was just not happening. So I would order the same thing at the restaurant every single time no matter if I wanted something else or not. Or my favourite, you order whatever the person in front of you does. Because there was a time when I didn’t have the confidence to ask and that was because when I would ask sometimes what they had for say chicken. The answer I would get without fail cane or not would be “the menu is right there”. And at that time I was too proud or nervous to say well I actually can’t read that because I can’t see it.

Going to a sit down restaurant one would think that would be a better option but nope, the restaurants always have horrible lighting and the menu print is seriously microscopic, and the menus usually are covered in plastic that creates glare from the crappy lights. So again I would try to read the menu with it so close that I got all the germs from the menu right up my nose and even then I could not see it. But you know what every restaurant usually has? Chicken Cesar Salad. So you guessed it, that was my fail safe. I never wanted my friends to read the menu for me because that meant that I had to admit that I was blind. Looking back now I can see that the only person who suffered in any of this was me.

Now as I have no vision left and much more confidence than I ever had. I don’t have the same anxiety that I did before, but there is still anxiety it is just different. What would I be anxious about you may be thinking. Well now that I am a guide dog user I always think, is today going to be another day where I have to argue my way into a restaurant, is today going to be the day that every points and stares and they put me in the back corner like an outcast.

Even my children and my husband will try to avoid going to a sit down restaurant or a new restaurant because they worry if we will have any issues. I am not someone who will not go because I am worried about what will happen when I show up with a dog. But the worry is always still there.

Sometimes you get really lucky and you are reminded that this is how it should be. Last night my family went to a mew Boston Pizza near our home for my sons 13th birthday. On the way to the restaurant the kids and my husband were saying hopefully we have no issues. I was hopeful that we wouldn’t. We walked in and there was no question or comment about Danson (huge win). Then we sat down and I asked for a braille menu, and she came back with one! That seriously never happens. There are very few places that have a braille menu.

Cover of a braille / large print menu at Boston Pizza

I was able to read the menu myself and pick something new. We had a great dinner and when I left it got me thinking. This is how it is for people every single time they want to go out to eat. And yet here I am as a blind woman and I almost celebrate because I was able to enter a restaurant with no questions, order my own food off a menu I can read, and sit and laugh and make memories with my children as my guide dog lays at my feet. This should not be the case, in todays age we should all have the freedom and ability to go out and enjoy a small thing like having dinner without any barriers.

Closet up of braille on a white sheet

Until Next Time,

Ashley and Danson

Parenting……… !

Hello Everyone,

I am blessed with three amazing children they are all very different individuals and I am very proud of the people that they are becoming.

Now I want to be real here for a minute. I have been asked recently if my kids have taken advantage of the fact that I cannot see what is going on. The answer is yes. I would love to sit here and say that, that is just not true my children, my angels would never do that. But that would be a huge lie and would only look good on social media, it would serve no other purpose.

You bet my kids have taken advantage of the fact that I cannot see what is going on. I know that I am not alone in this one. Kids will always try to see what they can get away with. I know as a kid I definitely took advantage of my parents working all the time. And did many things that I would not have done if my parents were around.

Like I said we have three children and one of them has pretty significant ADHD and they are all teens or pre-teens. There have been some really rough days trying to make sure that they are doing the things that they need to do and managing a child with ADHD. There have been nights when I really need a break and am not sure I am doing anything right. There are days when I take a well timed shower for some peace and quiet. I love my children, but I would be ok with skipping the teen years some days. Now not everything about raising children is bad, there are so many amazing things. There are days when I think, “how was I so lucky to get these kids”. They can be the most empathetic, kind, amazing kids. Raising kids is hard, no matter if you have a disability or not.

The reality is that people think my disability is the reason parenting is hard and that is just not the case. Parenting is hard for everyone. I have no idea what I am doing, I am sure I have made many mistakes along the way. The important thing is that I am doing the best that I know how. And hopefully after all my mistakes and figuring it out along the way we will have three well rounded adults.

I know that at the end of the day, we are all doing our best and that is all that anyone can ask.

Until Next Time,

Ashley and Danson

Top 10 Perks Of Not Driving Because You Are Blind

Hello everyone,

I can not tell you how many times someone has said to me “oh I couldn’t be blind and not drive”. Not being able to drive is a little bit of a pain in the rear but it definitely has its perks.

1. You never have to try and find your ride, or your car because they park in the same spot every time !

2. If your in a bad mood or just want to be left alone you can put in headphones and not hear “what is wrong with you?”, “why are you so grouchy today”, “what’s wrong?” On repeat like a broken record.

3. When people call you, they never want to talk long because of the background noise and all the people. Plus it is rude, so you can easily get out of talking to anyone!

4. You do not have to have road rage and you will get to your destination without almost needing bail money. I don’t know how you people do it to be honest, I swear like a trucker and I am not in traffic with people who have no idea how they even got there, let alone how they are supposed to get to where they are going!

5. If your bus gets a flat tire they come and pick you up with a different bus and you walk away from the broken one!

6. People make you feel like you are the most amazing thing every day simply because you got your blind behind to a bus stop and are on that thing alone! I mean you my friend deserve a Nobel prize!! And if you are not the biggest inspiration to someone, you may have someone pray over you or even get a marriage proposal because your guide dog will attract all the people you want to talk to.

7. It is the only place you can walk on and make someone move out of a seat simply because you want it and you are disabled so you can have it!

8. When your friends have to pay to fix their cars or put gas in them; you can justify as many pairs of shoes as you want! I mean you walk everywhere!!

9. When someone says to you “ma’am I need to see your drivers license.” And you say “I am blind”. The story and shovel they start digging the biggest hole with is quite comical!

10. If you are ever late for anything, all you have to say is “I had to take the bus” and no one will say anymore because they feel bad for you. If you drive they would say something like: ” well you should have left sooner I guess”.

There are many more perks I am sure I am missing, but I am sure you can now see why taking the bus isn’t the worst thing that could happen!

Until Next Time !

Ashley and Danson