As women…. well as people really, we tell ourselves so many stories about what people think of us, what is that guy looking at me for, what do people say when I leave. The dialogue that goes on in our minds is crazy.
I know for me that is so true. I will be the first one to stand up and say I don’t give two craps about what people think about me. But reality is, I think I do. I always wonder what people are thinking when they see me walking down the street, or speaking at an event. I am always worried about being pasted as the weird blind girl. I try hard to keep up with the trends and things. And as annoying as it is when someone comes to me and says “you don’t look blind” in my mind I am giving my self the biggest high five.
I recently went to an event (more on that to come!) and it was around networking. Let me preface this by, I really don’t like networking. It is exhausting, I suck at small talk, I worry about what they will think when they walk away, I am worried I will leave someone hanging when they go to shake my hand, or that it will look like I am looking at their boobs or over their shoulder. I have to work very hard at looking at where the sound of their voice is coming from, there is just so much to that goes on because I am blind, but also because I am a little conscious.
But at this event with a room full of women of all ages and backgrounds, I heard them all saying the same things. Which has gotten my wheels turning. We all feel uncomfortable in some way shape or form. And to be honest, I am sure the person I am talking to at these networking things is feeling the same way that I am. Relief washed over me like no ones business.
One of the reasons that I love to write and blog is because I can be me, the unabridged, honest version of me. Why because I can’t see your judgement and I get to filter the comments. I sit at home in my safe space and I can write what I am truly feeling and if you don’t like it you can click away.
I really try to treat life in the same way, but my brain gets in the way a lot of times. When I really sit and think about it though, there is no reason for it. Not everyone will like me, or what I am wearing, what I am doing, who I am, what I stand for. And that is ok, I am me. I am who I am, and I want to live life to the fullest and stop worrying about what people are thinking or if they will like me.
It can be hard to find new friends and groups to be a part of, but do I want to conform to their standards to be a part of their group, or be invited to coffee, ummmm nope!
I am a strong, passionate, opinionated, outgoing, woman. I want to surround myself with amazing women who have the same goals, passions, and outlooks on life that I do. Networking can be a way for me to shine, and show people who I am without shame. Allowing those who will end up to be in my circle the chance to see what I am about.
When we support one another and build each other up amazing things can happen…..
Until Next Time,
Ashley and Danson