Blindness the least of my struggles

Hello, Everyone !

I hope you are all doing well.

I was talking to someone recently and mentioned that I see a counsellor and they responded with ” I would too if I was blind”. I was surprised by this answer. Then the more I thought about it, I am sure that there are many many people out there who assume that I would need to see a counsellor because of living with blindness or any disability.

I talked with my husband after and kind of laughed a little because to be completely honest I do NOT see a counsellor because I am blind and or have a disability. I do NOT talk to my counsellor about being blind. I know that some people can not fathom that that would not be my biggest problem. For me my blindness is not an issue, I am happy with my life as a blind person. I am comfortable with my blindness and since I do not let my blindness determine how I live my life it really doesn’t cause me any problems. I have issues with other people misperceptions of blindness and my abilities but I have lived with that my whole life and enjoy proving people wrong.

I am so much more than a blind person and I have lived a lot in my life and see a counsellor  because I am a mother to 3 children. My 13-year-old daughter also has ADHD. Being a parent can be a challenge especially to teenagers and when you have a child with ADHD it can really make things difficult. I also lost my father to cancer almost 5 years ago, I was very close with my dad in the years before he passed but we also had many issues that we never got a chance to deal with. There are so many other things in my life that I have had to work through. And even though I am blind, that is not one of those things.

If I could give any advice on this topic, it would be; don’t assume that someone’s disability is their biggest struggle. The person with a disability lives their life every day just like you do and they have things happen that have absolutely nothing to do with their disability . Just because our reality is different than yours that does not mean that our disability consumes our lives to the point where we don’t live them.

Thank you for reading ! Have a fabulous day !

Until Next Time !

Ashley and Rick

You are so lucky !!

Hello Everyone,

Today I want to talk about a misperception of people who are blind or partially sighted and dating or being married or in a relationship of any kind.

There is this misperception that people with disabilities are not bringing anything to the relationship and that the person who is in a relationship with them is doing them a huge favour by being in a relationship with that person. This is insane ! People with disabilities can bring just as much to a relationship as someone without a disability.

My husband and I have been together for 13 years and married for 11. When we started dating he knew that I had a vision impairment, that never was a factor in our relationship though because I have a personality. I am not just a blind person that is not all I have to offer. We did not start dating because he felt bad for me.

When I lost the remainder of my vision 3 years ago I have had many people say to me and my husband, “you are so amazing for sticking around”. That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. I have also had people say “you are so lucky your husband stuck around”. Why is it people think that we could not have any sort of “normal” relationship because I have a disability. The comments like “oh, you are married, I never would have guessed” are sickening.

Ignorance fuels these types of comments and misperceptions, if they had taken the time to get to know me or anyone with a disability they would see that I have just as much to offer a relationship and the world as the next person.

I have asked my husband if he feels like I am a burden to him and like he wishes I wasn’t blind. His response is always “no, your blindness does not define our relationship and you are just as capable as anyone else. You are stubborn and drive me nuts sometimes but that is not because you are blind that is because you are Ashley.”

So the next time you think someone is lucky to have a partner just because they have a disability, try looking beyond the disability and to the fact that they are a person who has so much to offer.

Thanks for reading !
Until Next Time !
Ashley and Rick